To the guy who will never choose me

Some of us have met the guy I’m talking about.  He’s the one you thought was the one but he’s not. I have nothing to tell you but to kill every piece of hope in your body. Kill every single one of it because where there is hope, there will be disappointment and heartbreak. Beat against it, run against the current and stay away from him because every time you say, “We’re just friends,” will always be time you’ll be lying to yourself.
No matter what you do, no matter what you wear, no matter how great your dress looks, it will never be you. He will never choose you so leave. Walk away. No matter how hard it is, you have to walk away. I know hope is known to be a good thing, but hope in this situation is the fume to the flame. Bury all those dreams, all those hopes, all those ideas andwishful thinking. Bury hope and walk away. You do not deserve a guy who will not pick you.
Leave him because no matter how amazing you are, you will never be enough for him. He will always choose someone else and it’s not you that’s the problem, it’s him. Because he will always choose him over you. Beat against the current that will perpetually push you back to him.
You will always have the small ray of hope inside of you telling yourself, “Please pick me, please pink me. He will pick me this time.” But a larger part in you will tell you that he won’t and he never will. But you will take the gamble, you will place all your bets on the table even if there is slim chance of you winning, even if there are no chances of you winning. You will gamble yourself for him because you probably love him, to some extent and that’s okay. But it’s not okay to have him trample on your heart again and again and again. So please run, leave, drop him and just go on with your life.
He will never pick you but one day, if we’re both lucky, someone will pick us. Someone will gamble for us. Someone will be waiting for you to pick him. Someone will place all their bets on us and we will be scared to play, we will not gamble because we have lost one too many times. But he will wait, he will understand, he will be there because he chose you. But for now, while he’s not here, go on with your life. Take all your bets and go choose yourself.
And to the boy who will never choose me, I probably loved at some point and I’ll never know why.
You will never chose me but if someday you do, I will not lie because I might say yes and I will hate the part of me that will. I will try to hide it, I will try to say that I will walk away and bury everything to get away from you but I never will. I never will. Because I will always say yes to you. I always pick and I hate myself for that.
I want you to know, that one day, when someone does chose me, you will be at the back of my mind. And I will wonder if seeing me choose someone else will hurt you as much as it hurt me.
Much love (or the lack thereof),
LMTP.
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