Someone I know once posted on twitter that:
“The worst feeling is wanting someone you can never have.”
Yes, it is the worst feeling but it’s because we like things we can’t have.
We always like things we can’t have.
Until now, I have never quite figured out how and why this is. I just know it’s true.
In a way, longing is fueled by hope. As much as hope is viewed as a good concept (and it is) it occasionally isn’t.
Hope is always viewed as the “light at the other end of the tunnel”.
Amazing how we believed in this for the past years. Amazing how we bought it immediately without even thinking about it. As much as it is the light at the other end of the tunnel, there can always be a car in the tunnel to hit you as you run towards that light. As much as the car is expected to be a third party, I’d like to look at it as simply something called reality. It hurts when it hits you.
But I guess it’s normal to always look for something to look forward to. Even if sometimes it’s illogical. Take for example, looking forward to seeing your crush in school, thus letting it be a reason to go to school. Illogical? Yes. Normal? Yes. Fullfilling? Yes. Fullfilling after a few weeks? No, because you know that’s the closest you’ll ever get.
It’s nice to run to the light, it always is because we think it’s getting us closer to what we want. Because we think that the light is what we want. That light is this little dot we mesmerize on to follow. That light keeps us sane and then eventually otherwise.
The light never disappears, never does, never will.
It’s when we choose to turn back and walk away from the light when things actually get better.
A light is just a light, eve if we follow it, it will always be that small little dot that we call hope.
This is not to put hope in a bad light but sometimes hope is a glittered concept of life. Teaching man to run for it, to chase it even if he knows he’ll never catch it.
Hope prolongs longing. Longing is longing. It takes a long time, hence the word long-ing.
I like the word longing. There’s this subtle desperation in longing that the word want can’t give you. It’s like an emptiness that you want to be filled, not so much was a want you simply want to satisfy. In longing there’s this more calm yet forceful wishing to have it.
I don’t really know what to say now.
See you next week,